Wednesday 9 December 2009

Transfer Speculation










With the January transfer window about to open to give Sky Sports News something to speculate about for at least 31 days, the rumour mill is already in full swing over who might be switching clubs:


The usual January transfer suspects are preparing for their annual post-xmas move to wherever Harry Redknapp has moved to now, so Jermaine Defoe, & Peter Crouch are both thought to be following Redknapp back to Portsmouth who he joined late last night when Avram Grant wouldn't wake up after last weekends press conference. David James also spoke last night about how he would love to move back to Portsmouth to help regain his England place until it was pointed out he was already at the club! 'Whoops, I forgot!' he added.

Manager of Liverpool and star of the Spanish version of 'The Office' Rafa Benitez (pictured above at the signings of Fernando Torres & Alberto Aquilani), has announced that there are no funds in place to add any quality to his poor squad, but there are plenty of funds available to add dross to the squad, so the likes of Lucas Leiva & David N'Gog could soon be joined by Joey Barton who Benitez has been watching playing for D-wing Wanderers, Bobby Zamora who it is thought he would be willing to waste at least £10million on and Barnets 41 year old striker Paul Furlong who apparently is available for under £3million.

Chelsea are preparing an offer of £50million plus 'as much plastic surgery as he wants!' to bag Bayern Munich's Franck 'the Tank' Ribery, while Mark Hughes was interviewed on Sports In Shorts 24 hour sports TV show last night and was asked who Man City had a cat in hells chance of signing in January?, he said 'We'll be going all guns blazing to get Lionel Messi!'. When asked about these rumours Messi responded in his spanish accent 'haha, are you having a laugh?, eh Andres, Zlatan, listen to this one......is funny!.....'.

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