Sports In Shorts goes World Cup Mental

Popular sports blog Sports In Shorts will be going World Cup mental for the duration of this summers tournament.

We will be bringing you exclusive news from now until the final game from all the major teams and France as well.

Our team of sarcastic football writers (Corey Lavender and DC if he can remember his log on) have been sent off to bring you the news that should not be used as fact to impress your mates!.
So tune in to this frequency on a regular basis or to our sister blog Sports In Shorts HD for as much World Cup news that you could possibly ever need!.

Strauss forgets he's England captain!!

Andrew Strauss (pictured above) has admitted in an interview with Sky Sports News that he ''totally forgot he was still England's Test and One Day International captain''.

Strauss decided not to go on the tour of Bangladesh earlier this year, missing 3 One Day Internationals and 2 Test Matches because, by his own admission ''he wanted to catch up with all the 'Deal Or No Deals' he Sky Plussed over the winter!.''

Speaking in March, Strauss said ''Give me a break!, I'm not going to that god forsaken Bangradash place........I can't be bothered, honestly it's just one boring tour after another. I need a break!. I've got a Sky Box full of Deal or No Deals which aren't gonna watch themselves!.''

So with the impending return visit of Bangladesh the selectors asked Strauss who he wanted in his team for the first test starting today (27th May).

Strauss said ''When they asked me who I wanted to pick, I thought......why they asking me? then I figured that I must still be skipper, I think it's with having a break, catching up on a few things and not being good enough at that Twenty20 stuff to get in the squad. I just forgot about the game...then Colly (Paul Collingwood) led England to victory in the World Twenty20 World Cup, I just presumed he'd be the Captain from now on...honestly I'd forget my own bollocks if they weren't attached!.''

Strauss concluded with his thoughts on team selection. ''To be fair, it doesn't matter who we pick to play Bangerladish does it? if we played my mum as wicketkeeper we ought to win!.....na, joking I am, I'm only pulling ya boob mate!. To be honest, I know I forgot I was captain but I do love this job, standing around in the sun all day ordering people about!....its great!....but I leave team selection to people that know about the game.''

Blackpool go into administration within minutes of being in Premier League

Premier League newcomers Blackpool went into administration within 10 minutes of being promoted after winning their Play Off final against Cardiff City at Wembley on Saturday.

The Lancashire outfit announced that due to 'overspending' by the current regime in their brief spell in the top league the club could not maintain the 'huge' wage bill which had built up, cumulating in the decision made at 5.05pm Saturday evening.

Following the final whistle after the 3-2 win over the Welsh team, Ian Holloway by his own admission 'couldn't believe how much money he had to spend' and 'got carried away' by immediately putting a bid in for Barcelona's Lionel Messi. ''I was like a kid in a cheese shop'' the eccentric manager commented.

The Catalan giants were said to be keen on the offer, which was a reported £97 million plus Brett Ormorod, but the move was called off because Ormorod didn't want to move out of Lancashire to Spain, saying ''It's not everyday you get the chance to play for a top team in a top league......which is why I'm staying at Blackpool!.''

Holloway, speaking to Sports In Shorts said ''After the Messi move broke down I got real, and started to concentrate on transfer targets which were more likely to happen, which Is why I launched the highest spending spree in the clubs history, buying Premier League stalwarts Robert Earnshaw for £9 million, Jimmy Bullard for £6 million on £97k a week, and Robbie Keane for £14 million. But my biggest coup of all was the Free signing of Michael Owen from Man U, he's good int he?, well worth the £250k a week I agreed to pay him.''

This spell of reckless spending meant that by 5.04pm the club had overspent next years budget, and the next 4 years parachute payments already, leaving the Board of Directors no choice but to go into administration.

Cardiff City financial fuckwit Peter Ridsdale spoke to Sky Sports after the game, ''To be honest I'm gutted, I've been cooking up a ridiculously stupid piece of overspending the world has never seen before. Well, at least since my time at Leeds, I reckon I could have had Cardiff out of business a good 5 mins before they (Blackpool) were!.....amateurs.''

Holloway added ''To be fair, we've had a great run in the top league, it was good while it lasted, so if we get relegated before we've been promoted then so be it. At least we've got our health eh.''
He ended the interview with another pearl of wisdom. ''As Michael Barrymore once said, there is always someone worse off than yourself....and that person is Portsmouth....I've been Ian Holloway...goodnight''.