Tuesday 1 December 2009

Snooker World Championships In Doubt


The governing body of World Snooker admitted last night that they had forgotten to book the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield for next years Betfret World Snooker Championship. Their spokesman Les Bennett said this in his northern accent 'usually what happens is we book ahead while the tournament is on, so we say to em, same again next year please, give em a deposit and jobs a good un. We usually get a reminder of the balance to pay, and i notices that we adn't ad it so i gets me secretary to ring up, well...that's when they say no one booked ahead, don't know how we forgot that...probably watching a mesmerising game o'snooker or sumat...i don't know, but anyway we're knackered now cos they've got a sold out run all through April and May of 'Loose Women On Tour'.....that's gonna make more money than watching snooker ever will!'.

The Organisers of the Championships have been working round the clock to find alternative locations for the 2 week Snooker fest, and it is thought that the event will now be held at either Riley's Snooker centre in Stoke or Mansfield Working Men's Club's function room if Jed and Baz don't hog it all month.

BBC's Hazel Irvine on hearing about the mix-up commented 'thank F£#K for that!, I'm fed up to the back teeth of having to look happy about being in that hellhole (Sheffield)....i wish they'd just give me another job, its a chuffing nightmare having to spend 2 weeks with that lot. You've got Steve Feckin Davis telling me about his collection of antique snooker cues and that perve Dennis Feckin Taylor trying to get off with me all the time!, Dennis.....first time was a mistake, we we're both drunk , its NOT gonna happen again!'.

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