Thursday 3 December 2009

Federer arrested for own safety!


Superstitious executives at Gillette have apparently requested Swiss authorities to detain World No.1 tennis star Roger Federer in order to protect his squeaky-clean image.


Fearing that bad things 'always come in threes' and with the reputation of high profile patrons Tiger Woods and Thierry Henry in tatters after recent indiscretions, the detention of Federer is seen as an essential element of the global brand's risk management strategy.


Gillette has neither denied or confirmed whether current endorsements of Woods and Henry will be renewed. Henry's situation has not been helped by recently surfaced dressing room footage of him handling a Bic disposable razor. Meanwhile representatives for Woods are allegedly touting their client's new bad boy image to potential sponsors such as Durex and Spearmint Rhino.


There has been no statement as yet from Federer, but fellow detainee, Mr R Polanski commented to reporters that Federer's family had already paid the tennis superstar a visit at the high-security facility, located some twenty miles beneath the Swiss Alps. 'Roger and his family are adorable, especially his teenage niece', Polanski added.

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