Football Drops From The Sky

Sky television sensationally announced yesterday that they will be dropping live Premier League football coverage after the conclusion of the current 2009/2010 season in favour of a dancing extravaganza phone in singing show.

Head of the channel's Knee Jerk Reaction Department Henry Belafonte said this 'I don't want anyone to think we've just rushed into this decision cos we've seen how much money can be made from premium rate voting lines, but we've realised how much money can be made from premium rate voting lines so it was a no-brainer really!'. He went on to say of the way he sees live televised sport heading 'No one likes football anymore, the worlds moved on, the public just care about ballroom dancing, people singing karaoke and frumpy looking women who crack up on screen. Footballs gone forever......at least for a couple of seasons!'.

Sky will show live and exclusive coverage of the 9 month long ''Pro Celebrity Ballroom That's Not Strictly Dancing League'' sponsored by Haribo starting on Saturday August 14th. The league will consist of 10 teams made up of 11 dancers (5 professionals, 5 celebrities and 1 special guest) and each will have a mentor who will be one of the soon to be out of work Premier League managers.

Each team will perform various dances or songs against a rival team, in front of the judging panel who will award 3 points to the winning team, 1 for a draw and zero for a loss. A pointless phone vote will then be held each week, but as its pointless it will not in any way count towards the final scores!.

Belafonte wanted to assured fans of Sky's football coverage that there will be some familiar faces in the new show. 'We want to assure fans there will be some familiar faces in the new show, dance enthusiast Richard Keys will host the live Super Sunday Showdown Dance Off, and he's already been practicing his new catchphrase of 'This is easily the best dance league in the world!'. I know it might sound like a radical idea but i do know what I'm doing.......it was my idea to bring back Gladiators!.....he added'.