Last night saw the annual Socceraid football match to raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. The game at Old Trafford brought together many great players of the past and Jamie Redknapp as well as some celebrities and Jonathan Wilkes.
The game was organised by part time overweight karaoke singer Robbie Williams (pictured above during a brief 'non smug' period), who spoke of the good that the game would bring to some of the worst affected areas of Haiti.
''There are some places in Haiti that haven't even got a radio, let alone an i-pod to listen to me on.....can you believe that....imagine what it must be like not to be able to hear my music!'' said the self righteous Port Vale supporter. ''I plan not to stop raising money until every home in Haiti is back to normal, then the least they could do to repay me is to buy my new album 'The Dick is back In Town'....''.
One of the victims of the earthquake, Oscar Cardozo, who lost his home in the disaster, was flown over to enjoy the match and appeared on ITV with Robbie Williams in the studio with presenter Dermot O'Leary before the game.
Williams said ''Honestly Dermot, people like this little fella here, a little homeless fella like Oscar have lost everything. I mean its bad enough to lose your home......... but your entire record collection....nightmare scenario.....unless you had Gary Barlow's solo album 'Open Road'....eh Oscar..haha'' he chuckled as he gave Cardozo a playful punch.
''But seriously Dermie, I plan not to rest until Oscar here and all his compatriots all have at the very least a CD player to hear me on!.....that's a promise''.
''Wow, that's great news there from the Robster, eh Oscar!?'' said O'Leary enthusiastically
''I told mister Robbie he really really didn't have to do that, we'd rather he didn't!!'' pleaded the Haitian.
The match itself ended 2-2, leading to a penalty shootout which The Rest Of The World team won 8-7. The scorer of the winning penalty then surprisingly earned an call up to his country's World Cup squad!.
The player in question was star of Kingpin Woody Harrelson, who only played 7 minutes of the second half and immediately got drafted into the USA squad by manager Bob Bradley, who claimed ''He's easily the best player I've seen since Sly Stallone.'' The ex Cheers buffoon scored the winning penalty despite having to be told where the penalty spot was, slotting the ball past the England keeper Jamie Theakston, who had previously saved 4 penalties......all by accident.
Robbie Williams summed up the evenings entertainment. ''Its just great to get some charity publicity for the charity and for me. I mean where else could you get Zidane, Ryan Giggs, Mike Myers, Woody Harrelson and a tramp to play football together''.
''A tramp? wheres the tramp Robbie?'' asked O'Leary
''That fella in the hat!'' replied the singer
''That's Ricky Hatton!'' claimed the X factor presenter
''Is it?, the one who's been tucking into the sausage rolls all day?....I thought he was a homeless''
The England teams manager Harry 'the tax evader' Redknapp spoke to Sports In Shorts after the game.
''Ok, so it wasn't a great game but at least Olly Murs has found something he's good at, and by missing his penalty Paddy McGuiness has finally done something funny on telly!''. Said the hound faced Spurs manager before he had to go, as he needed fly to South Africa to sign constant transfer target Jermain Defoe, whom he hasn't yet signed in this transfer window.
The game was organised by part time overweight karaoke singer Robbie Williams (pictured above during a brief 'non smug' period), who spoke of the good that the game would bring to some of the worst affected areas of Haiti.
''There are some places in Haiti that haven't even got a radio, let alone an i-pod to listen to me on.....can you believe that....imagine what it must be like not to be able to hear my music!'' said the self righteous Port Vale supporter. ''I plan not to stop raising money until every home in Haiti is back to normal, then the least they could do to repay me is to buy my new album 'The Dick is back In Town'....''.
One of the victims of the earthquake, Oscar Cardozo, who lost his home in the disaster, was flown over to enjoy the match and appeared on ITV with Robbie Williams in the studio with presenter Dermot O'Leary before the game.
Williams said ''Honestly Dermot, people like this little fella here, a little homeless fella like Oscar have lost everything. I mean its bad enough to lose your home......... but your entire record collection....nightmare scenario.....unless you had Gary Barlow's solo album 'Open Road'....eh Oscar..haha'' he chuckled as he gave Cardozo a playful punch.
''But seriously Dermie, I plan not to rest until Oscar here and all his compatriots all have at the very least a CD player to hear me on!.....that's a promise''.
''Wow, that's great news there from the Robster, eh Oscar!?'' said O'Leary enthusiastically
''I told mister Robbie he really really didn't have to do that, we'd rather he didn't!!'' pleaded the Haitian.
The match itself ended 2-2, leading to a penalty shootout which The Rest Of The World team won 8-7. The scorer of the winning penalty then surprisingly earned an call up to his country's World Cup squad!.
The player in question was star of Kingpin Woody Harrelson, who only played 7 minutes of the second half and immediately got drafted into the USA squad by manager Bob Bradley, who claimed ''He's easily the best player I've seen since Sly Stallone.'' The ex Cheers buffoon scored the winning penalty despite having to be told where the penalty spot was, slotting the ball past the England keeper Jamie Theakston, who had previously saved 4 penalties......all by accident.
Robbie Williams summed up the evenings entertainment. ''Its just great to get some charity publicity for the charity and for me. I mean where else could you get Zidane, Ryan Giggs, Mike Myers, Woody Harrelson and a tramp to play football together''.
''A tramp? wheres the tramp Robbie?'' asked O'Leary
''That fella in the hat!'' replied the singer
''That's Ricky Hatton!'' claimed the X factor presenter
''Is it?, the one who's been tucking into the sausage rolls all day?....I thought he was a homeless''
The England teams manager Harry 'the tax evader' Redknapp spoke to Sports In Shorts after the game.
''Ok, so it wasn't a great game but at least Olly Murs has found something he's good at, and by missing his penalty Paddy McGuiness has finally done something funny on telly!''. Said the hound faced Spurs manager before he had to go, as he needed fly to South Africa to sign constant transfer target Jermain Defoe, whom he hasn't yet signed in this transfer window.
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