Wrinkled Italian Fabio Capello (pictured above waving goodbye to Theo Walcott) has shocked the football world by selecting a striker that by his own admission he ''knows little about''.
The player in question is Chesham United forward Owen Goal, who is said to be ''delighted but not surprised'' at his inclusion in the World Cup squad and was also quick to rubbish reports that the only reason he had been selected was because his name sounds a little bit like Own goal, a player who has served Capello well in his reign as England head coach.
''To be honest, I think my call up has come 4 years too late, in 2006 I had a cracking season scoring 14 goals but Sven overlooked me back then. I'm just glad to be going to a World Cup!'' said the confident Ryman league player yesterday, following the announcement.
When questioned over the rumours circulating that his call up had just been an admin error, Goal said ''Naa mate, 9 goals in the Ryman League speaks for itself. He (Capello) isn't daft, he knows a prolific striker when he sees one and he's seen me and he obviously likes what he sees!''
After a few moments hesitation he concluded ''Ok, so he hasn't seen me playing that often this season but I bet he's heard good things from me mates down the Fox and Goose!''.
Speaking inconclusively to Sports In Shorts Capello talked about the surprise selection.
''I was very impressed with Own Goal, the way he took his 2 goals against Japan was very impressive. He reminded me of a young Toto Schillaci.''
Shortly after this, Capello was told that he had selected Chesham's Goal, and he reacted by saying.
''Oh fiddle the sticks, I'm always doing this!. I am such a buttery fingers eh!?. I told my secretary to always check my spelling. Its my handywriting, its very messy you see!. This wouldn't have happened if the F and A would have brought me that Laptop computer I saw for sale at Makro.....£256 plus VAT, you cannot beat that price!. I knew it would pay for itself!''
Goal has been installed as the bookmakers favorite to finish as England's top scorer in the tournament.
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