Serial American sex pest Tiger Woods, appeared on Friday at an organized press conference to offer his stage managed apologies to his wife, kids, mum, extended family, friends, sponsors, fans & pets for the shame and embarrassment caused by the string of extra marital affairs he has engaged in around the world.
But it was his mum Caterina who made the most headlines when she stuck up for her sons behaviour!.
Before Mrs Woods took to the mic, Tiger went on to apologize for the earthquake in Haiti, for the lacklustre punditry by Alan Hansen on MOTD, for Hitler's bad mood with Jewish people, for Wayne Rooney's premature hair loss and England's inability to be any good at One Day International Cricket!.
Whilst Woods was speaking, his mother could be seen shaking her head in a disapproving manner, as he finished he went over to her for comfort but she clipped him round the ear, pushed him out the way and made the following statement.
''God damn bro, why can't my boy put some dick about?. He rich ain't he?, can do what he wants to any hoe that wants some Tiger play....it's just a good job his father Tiger Senior ain't here to hear this, he'd be one angry cat......he used to have his dick everywhere and never said sorry!, and d'yer know why?, because he rich, rich men can do what they want......and his wife....... that Swedish hoe, if she don't like it, she knows where the doors at!!''
Security then removed Mother Woods from the podium but she could be heard shouting ''Get your hands off me mother fecker , I'll sue your ass.... bitch, everybody want some Woods don't they.....you can't stop me!......what are you?, some kind of dick police!?!''.
Woods(Tiger) then apologized for his Mothers comments, blaming hormones for the outburst!.
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