Sir Geoffrey Boycott (above) the ex Yorkshire and England batsman and current critical Yorkshire man has told failing or over the hill sports stars such as Michael Owen or Kevin Pietersen to adopt the ridiculous ancient art form of Feng Shui in order to change their fortunes.
Boycott who holds the healing powers of Feng Shui responsible for curing his boring blocking style of batting, told Madness Magazine 'Before I turned to Feng Shui it used to take me 900 balls on average to get off the mark which was becoming a problem for my batting stats....especially in one-day cricket!, but after I pointed my settee in the right direction my run scoring increased two fold!'.
The Chinese invented Feng Shui when they were bored one weekend to make them sound wise and interesting and in touch with the universe and also to take every body's minds off the whole human rights violation thing!.
Some of its made up virtues are that if you wear red you will always be successful (a case proven by the current West Indies cricket team), you should always face the sun whenever possible (providing you've got a good pair of sunglasses) and you should eat hot food instead of the more popular cold food options.
The once sane ex cricketer now criticises England's current players for a living on Radio 4's Test Match Special, and made the claim on air to a bewildered Jonathan Agnew who tried to deflect Sir Geoff from his ramblings with a lovely slice of cake sent in by Maureen Coombs from Shrewsbury. A move which backfired when Geoffrey pointed out he couldn't possibly eat it without having lucky hot custard poured over it in line with Feng Shui traditions!.
Boycott who holds the healing powers of Feng Shui responsible for curing his boring blocking style of batting, told Madness Magazine 'Before I turned to Feng Shui it used to take me 900 balls on average to get off the mark which was becoming a problem for my batting stats....especially in one-day cricket!, but after I pointed my settee in the right direction my run scoring increased two fold!'.
The Chinese invented Feng Shui when they were bored one weekend to make them sound wise and interesting and in touch with the universe and also to take every body's minds off the whole human rights violation thing!.
Some of its made up virtues are that if you wear red you will always be successful (a case proven by the current West Indies cricket team), you should always face the sun whenever possible (providing you've got a good pair of sunglasses) and you should eat hot food instead of the more popular cold food options.
The once sane ex cricketer now criticises England's current players for a living on Radio 4's Test Match Special, and made the claim on air to a bewildered Jonathan Agnew who tried to deflect Sir Geoff from his ramblings with a lovely slice of cake sent in by Maureen Coombs from Shrewsbury. A move which backfired when Geoffrey pointed out he couldn't possibly eat it without having lucky hot custard poured over it in line with Feng Shui traditions!.
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